Tallentenator

Epicureans of voracious appetites are known for the extremes that they will endure for a tasty snack, a beautiful beverage or other victual and comestible of note. None can compare, however, with the famous French gastronome M. Teddié de Tallenten whose appetites were known from Marseille to Saint-Pouding-sur-Désert as unrivalled. He would seek out rare meats and scarce scents wherever they might be found, from gulping down monograpes he wrestled from the one gorge they grow in the Amazon to bartering with a monk in Nepal for the tears of an albino snow leopard to add to a cocktail. But the more he hunted and the more he ate, the less his hungers were satiated. Enlisting the forgeworks run by the monks of the Abbaye Saint Nicola-de-Croquet, a new trulkological device, the Tallentenator, was invented which might detect flavours in the wind, analyse pollens and scout hither and thither for the most delectable of treats for this rather hungry chap. Teddié was delighted when on its first mission it came trulking back with a fabulous cheese from an alpine dairy known only to local farmers called Langueseductrice. With few hunks of bread he chomped the whole hunk, rind, cloche and all, in less than dix secondes. He hungered for the taste of it so much, he cut off and gobbled down his tongue to make sure he left no traces unsavored.