If you can furrow your eyebrows, can you leave them fallow?

Indeed, don’t be worrying yourself into a dizzy dither about the arboreal canopies that sprout above your seeing-holes. When things get too flumoxsome, worrisome or doomfulsome and you furrow your eyebrows so much they lose all their lustrous extents, fear not! Just let them lie fallow until they are not just on fleek*, they are on peak fluffliness which is all one needs to be truly fashunable! *a silly made up word. 

Is there a point to existence?

Yes.  

Does the fall of the roman empire have anything to do with pigeons? Discuss.

It has hitherto been speculated that the demise of the fearsome Roman Empire was related to such things as hedonism, debauchery, Christianity, barbarians (not a very nice word for quite nice people), and, boredom and general malaise. These are all preposterous in their own way as this essay shall prove. It is all a question of legitimacy, of projected power. The image of the all powerful Emperor on his plinth struck awe into the hearts of their subjects from Eboracum to Particsum and the outer extents of Asia-Minor. But all this came unstuck due to the fouling of these statues by pigeons. Who could take them seriously then?!

As I prove in my next section…

Do wombat’s like early-music?

As they often have to get up quite early in the morning they are terribly fond of early music. Especially Boch, Hundel, Ramaeu, Lolly etc. 

Which way is the post-office?

Down the road past St. Meredith’s church, until you get to Pringleton and Price Solicitors, take a right turn onto Windshuckle Street, take the fifth, or sixth left into Bimbombodingle Alley, your sixth right into Quimery Row, your fortieth left onto Hoshkinsonington Parade, through the park, around the lake, over the moon, around the bend once again, and you’ll find it a few doors down (it’s aquamarine, from memory) from Pringleton and Price Solicitors. Simple.