Viscount Ballyhoo strode into the parlour wielding his rifle with a dextrous fury. ‘Confounded Banshee, stop your meddling!’ roared the Colonel like an angry charging buffalo. I looked over at Aunt Tabytha who’s smiling face, betrayed her enjoyment at the Viscount’s rage. ‘My dear and most estimable husband, I know not, what you know, that which you think I know.’
The Viscount’s face, deepened into an even darker hue of beetroot-red. ‘The Oreotragus oreotragus that’s what, you damnable Gorgon, you know perfectly well what’s the matter!’ Aunt Tabytha, coolly reached down and picked up her teacup and saucer, elegantly stirring her steaming brew. ‘Well my dear Ballyhoo’ she paused, ‘If you are referring to that hideous flea infested stuffed animal that you insisted be mounted on the wall, it is now disposed of’ Aunt Tabytha replied calmly. ‘Whaaaaaaaaat! I didn’t go to the savannah just to avoid you! I went there to shoot animals, to kill them cold, shoooooooot the living daylights out of the furry buggers, what do you mean to do, throwing out my trophies, eh? Medusa! Harpie! Steam by this point was practically venting from his enflamed nostrils and blaring over his white and bounteous whiskers.
‘It may have been an extremely good specimen of an Oreotragus oreotragus, however it was shedding its fur onto my new rug, and it simply wasn’t going to do’ Aunt Tabytha replied, ending on a tone that indicated she thought the matter well and truly done. ‘Rigggggggggght,’ roared the Viscount. ‘Then your new dinner service will shortly be used for target practice!’ The Viscount strode out of the parlour.
I looked over at my Aunt, she smiled back with a violent sweetness, ‘Some species are likely to meet an early extinction.’ Bare moments passed before the shriek of maids and the splinterous crash of china made clear that his threat had not been idle. Though instead of heading into the garden, it seemed he had decided to shoot the plates inside the dining room. Not a shadow flickered across my Aunt’s countenance. ‘And how are your studies getting on up at Cowpuddle, my dear?’ Tabytha cooed to me, her eyes swivelling towards me with the calm of a contented crocodile.
